Did you know that divorces are at their highest in August? Are you able to salvage your marriage or is it just not possible given your situation? Here’s how to get through the summertime and divorce to make your transition a little smoother.
Late summer can be great for enjoying vacations, barbecues, and seeing family before the kids go back to school. But it’s not all fun and games as the number of divorce filings peak in August. While this month is already filled with special events and activities, it’s also one of the reasons divorce filings are at their highest.
Why Couples Wait to Get Divorced During the Summer
Summer is crazy for everyone; kids are home during the day or attending summer camps and activities, and families are coordinating their vacations. For example, a couple has a non-refundable trip to The Bahamas. The kids are bouncing around with impatience as they can’t wait to go, and who’s to hold them back? These are prime reasons why parents believe it’s best to wait until after the vacation to file the divorce.
But there’s also a few other reasons to wait until the end of the year, such as the following:
• Wanting to get through the holiday season
• Getting through tax season
• Wanting to start the year off fresh
Because of these, divorce filings are high in March. It’s common for most parents to wait until after the holidays to file divorce as they feel it’s better to do it while getting back in routine while the kids are in school.
Warning Signs of a Summer Divorce
While divorce filings are high in March and August, their warning signs arise much earlier. Some people’s conscience tells them it’s time or they feel themselves growing apart from their partner.
After seeing a divorce attorney, people can also misbehave, such as trying to be seen as the better parent or more committed to documenting things. An example of this would be for one to send an email to themselves saying “just registered Mark for baseball camp, volunteered at Jimmy’s cub scout fundraiser, and filed their school paperwork right away.” This is exactly what a divorce lawyer would advise their client before filing for divorce.
Catching a spouse cheating. On the other hand, one may suspect they are being followed, which can happen if their partner suspects them of cheating.
Changing the way finances are managed. For example, if one’s paycheck is no longer deposited into the joint account, or the money is moved around in a way that wasn’t before, one may suspect a divorce is near.
How to Avoid Divorce
Getting lost in routine is one to which many couples fall victim. For couples who want to beat the odds, despite seasonal divorce trends, it’s imperative to spend time with their spouse. While the days are long in the summer, the years are still short. Getting married, having a baby, and watching them grow up can pull couples away from each other as they may even become different people over time.
This is why it’s important for people to commit to each other and take care of their relationships, especially in the summer and during the holidays. While many couples feel guilty about going out or away for a few days and leaving their kids at home, this time spent together is vital.
It’s also important that kids understand that alone time for their parents is needed. A good way to explain this would be to say “It was just mom and dad here before you were born, and we loved this part of our life as well. Of course, we love you more, but it’s important for us to be together and love each other too.”
Regardless of the guilt parents feel about taking time away from their children to re-connect with each other, it may seem much less important than the amount of guilt and shame felt when a marriage fails.
What to Do When You Can’t Avoid a Summer Divorce
Despite much needed counseling, some marriages still don’t make it past the summer. But before filing, it’s imperative to understand that divorce is a process, not an event. There will be parts of heightened grief and relief, but if that person believes they are making the right decision in the end, they will recover.
Couples who are about to file for divorce should also be familiar with the process. Hiring a divorce attorney who is experienced, understands the spouse’s needs, and knows how to approach the process is substantial towards having things work in their favor. After the divorce attorney has explained the client’s goals, they can develop the plan and what to expect every step of the way.
Divorces involving kids can also be complicated, but they are resilient. For parents who are afraid of how their decision will affect their children, their resilience can give them the confidence needed to move forward.
Understanding the Financial Impact of Divorce
Despite the need to get everything spouses want out of their divorce; they will always pay a pretty penny. The lawyer, court, and other fees will quickly add up, creating a lot of added stress on top of their situation. While hiring a financial planning professional is another expense, it can be the fastest way to climb out of debt after a divorce.
Dividing up the cash and assets will certainly happen, but there will also be an impact on the couple’s income. Both partners should ask themselves the following questions:
1. Does the house need to be sold in order to get the necessary funds to settle the case?
2. Is there a business that can be sold?
3. If they agree to stay in business, how will the profits be divided?
4. Will one partner receive a stock plan that pays out dividends every year? Or…
5. Will they receive cash that offers no ROI?
6. Will either spouse need to get a job?
While these questions are important, one of the most important includes “What will happen to me after the divorce if I’m not able to take care of myself financially?”
Looking at each aspect of the situation becomes imperative and how can they be adjusted during a divorce, especially for a non-working spouse.
Work with a Divorce Attorney
The questions listed above can keep spouses awake at night as they are desperate to make it work. But after spending months of sleepless nights, it’s highly recommended to get the help of an experienced divorce attorney. Not only will they help to find a solution, but they will guide you through the process to ensure you won’t be walking away empty-handed.
Allen Gabe Law P.C. in Schaumburg, IL is a leading firm in divorce law, taking the time to understand your needs and assessing all child custody, alimony, maintenance and support issues. He is also specialized in handling cases that include child abuse, spousal abuse, and paternity cases.
Get a Free Consultation
To schedule a free consultation with our experienced divorce attorney, contact Allen Gabe Law P.C. at (847) 241-5000, Ext 121 or fill out a contact form and we will respond to your request shortly.